Monkeys …A Sociological Study

Monkey Subculture 1 - Railway Monkeys

Railway Monkeys sustain themselves by hanging from the rafters of train stations where they scan the thronging masses for colourful little plastic bags of bananas, apples and guava which they regularly drop down and dispossess innocent passengers of.  It is unfortunate that they don't have such a keen eye and taste for rats as if this were the case they would become the most revered Monkeys Subculture of all.  Railway Monkeys share characteristics beyond just mugging with western inner-city youth; once full of passenger picnics, they sit around all day on the rooves of unused trains throwing litter around and experimenting sexually in the full light of day which is shocking in India of all prim and proper places!  They also get into some serious scraps and a theory I plan to explore is that there may be further segregation going on at the Railway Stations ...gang-related monkey violence.

Monkey Subculture 2 – Spiritual Monkeys

Spiritual Monkeys sustain themselves by leading a natural life in the forest, eating fruit and working as a team to ensure that everyone has access to a good healthy diet.  They are largely uninterrupted by any human life that borders their own but will occasionally approach a passing safari jeep on the off-chance that some of their precious food may have fallen into the jeep.  These gentle types are best viewed at dusk and dawn during their ground level group meditations.  The low sun casts long shadows behind their perfectly poised bodies and they seem so deeply in meditation that the ever-present danger of a large carnivore washes over them completely.  This subculture seems only to exist within the Langur population so further investigation may well lead me to conclude that forest dwelling Langur monkeys are indeed the ancient derivation of the word “Monk”.

Monkey Subculture 3 – Temple Monkeys

Temple monkeys sustain themselves by hanging out at Hanuman (The Hindu Monkey God) temples where they are constantly fed by merit-making pilgrims.  Although this way of life is perfectly acceptable to them, I feel that it is the epitome of monkey-laziness.  I can’t help but draw a comparison with people who live their whole lives on the UK benefit system.  A good work ethic, a wholesome diet, and team work are not being passed down to the next generations and before we know it these monkeys will be calling all of the shots and the hard-working pilgrims will not be able to sustain themselves for all of the providing that is expected of them as the monkey population swells.  I expect  further research will prove that many misguided offspring of Temple Monkeys migrate to the Railway Monkey subculture dietary diversity of theft becomes more tempting than handouts.

Monkey Subculture 4 – Monument Monkeys

Nobody seems entirely sure how the monument monkeys survive but we are certain that at least some of their diet is attributable to tourist picnics.  As in the rest of Indian society, everything has a price and tourists just love to photograph monkeys as they perch on the ancient architectural highlights of India.  Human currency is of no value to a Monument Monkey so instead of demanding ten rupees after they have posed for a photo, they feel quite comfortable with purloining whatever is edible and accessible.  What is more, Indian tourists pay about 25 times less to access the monuments than western tourists and they carry more robustly protected picnics meaning that western tourists lose out two-fold in this mandatory exchange.  As a word of caution, I have witnessed Monument Monkeys meditating but do not be fooled, closer examination would certainly prove that these are not Spiritual Monkeys and the pose is just a ploy to get themselves photographed so that they can eat your lunch.